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November 12th, 2010
05:27 pm
the other night my roommate knocked on my bedroom door and i anwered,wearing a towel. he said 'urm, i think your rabbit is dead'
i demanded he tell me how and why and he said he didn't know. i still dont really know. the neighbours pitbull got into our yard and there was a suspiciously pitbull sized hole in the side of Emins run.she didnt look like she'd been attacked though, she looked like she'd been hit or run into something.the neighbour said 'if it'd been my dog that killed her,she wouldn't be in one piece'.then she lent me her shovel so i could bury emin. she was bleeding from her ears and mouth but otherwise looked okay.she wasnt bitten anywhere. she felt the same.she was frozen in a running position.i thought she ought to be less soft or less heavey, less substantial sort of. i dont blame the dog.she got into our yard again the next day. i put the other animals inside and we returned the dog to its yard but it kept coming back. eventually i gave up and gave it some cat food and water.it slept on the outside couch. i've been cooking and cleaning a lot because when i stop doing things i picture Emin how i found her and how she looked in the hole before i covered her in dirt.
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March 29th, 2010
03:08 pm - now thats what i call quite good
I am to attend a wedding, as a proper guest, for what is the first time in my life that i can recall. I may accidentally start napkining people and pouring wine out of habit but this will be okay as other guests will just think me overly polite and helpful.I am to be the date of Myles and Martha, it is their cousins wedding and I am to buy a new dress.I am in such luck as Alannah Hill is about to open in Adelaide! Ever so excited. I have funds for this as have been working so often and so early. tomorrow i start at 6.15. this is not helping me to cure self of glandular fever. the fever of the glands. i've had this for about 4 weeks. At Womad i could hardly move but refused to forfeit my ticket.
So i beat the elite four. professor oak came. now my life lacks purpose. Am therefore considering buying self that nintendo ds i've always wanted or at least always since they've been a) in existence and b)available in pastel blue. I was at the Pixies concert the other night, waiting for the suport band to start, when i spyed the grown man next to me whip a tamagotchi out of his pocket and proceed to discreetly feed and bathe it or whatever. This courduroy-shirted man in his early thirties, playing with a tamagotchi on his own at a concert was the sweetest thing i've ever seen. i could've hugged him and also cried at how wonderfully pathetic (in the nicest possible way)he was. also i desperately wanted to ask where he got said tamagotchi, as it was shaped like a pokeball. of course i did none of these things, i merely grinned at him, though he didn't notice, and then proceded to stare into my beer, wishing i had confidence & social skills and also a pokemon tamagotchi. I have since found that the pokeball tamagotchi comes with the new ds games (pokemon heart-gold and soul-silver. mmm, is that the scraping of a barrel i hear?), so am bent on getting me one.
Royce, having repeated lost at stadium has taken the stance that 'pokemon is the nerdiest thing you could play apart from world of warcraft'.
'you have one of the best consoles available'-indicating x-box-'yet you choose to play with a brick'-indicating nintendo 64.
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March 10th, 2010
03:19 pm
While I was searching the Tafe website for baking courses just now, I let a pie burn. Oh the irony etc.
My Diglett just evolved into Dugtrio. He's pretty hard. his name is Dig It. can you?
I have mouth ulcers up the yin-yang due to mystery illness. I cant eat solids. I may lose some weight.
I need to go to work
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February 15th, 2010
01:17 pm - I came when I heard you beat the elite four
We spent Sunday sitting in poangs under a dilapidated gazebo playing Pokemon Yellow. We devoted more energy to giving our pokemon immature nicknames than to actually training and thus are yet to defeat Brock. You're pretty hot but not as hot as Brock.
cue flashback--
"what should we call Mankey?"
"well, Wanky is the obvious choice"
me- "what did you name that Caterpie?"
myles- "penis"
me- "thats shit. Why?"
myles- "Penis used Harden"
royce- "Penis used Stringshot"
*hysterical laughter*
me- "yeah but when it evolves into Butterfree thats not really going to be funny anymore"
me- "shit, this splinter just wont budge. I'm going to try pick at it with a pin"
myles - "and I'm going to sit here and act compassionate while I catch 'em all"
I got a splinter from a door at work on thursday. The chef told me,"I'm pretty good with a knife, if you want me to cut it out?"
I laughed and whimpered a bit. He was being serious.
I wouldn't let him cut it out so he tried prying it out with a pin which didn't quite work but he assured me it would remove itself soon.
By Friday it was still there and my thumb was well swollen. So I let drunken Royce go at it with a scalpel but that had little effect on satans splinter. So its still with me & i've lost the use of my thumb. I should sue.
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January 27th, 2010
02:18 pm - A couple weeks ago--
I am out to dinner at posh restaurant called 'Fino' (which is reminding me of 'Fimo', the perhaps not entirely posh modeling clay), going about the business of menu perusal when i spy a waitress placing a napkin on another customers lap.
Me- *gasp* "they're napkining people! were going to get napkined!"
Martha- "finally you'll experience it from the receiving end!"
Me- "eee!"
both wave hands about in excitement until waitress approaches and are forced to contain our joy. As soon as we are napkined and waitress has moved on to fetch our drinks, Martha asks me -
"was it everything you'd hoped for?!"
me- "and so much more!"
*both laugh insanely*
And it was friends, it was.
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December 3rd, 2009
05:24 pm - delicate flower
Do you ever stop and think 'Christ, what am I googling?'. Today I found self trawling through pictures of Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys to find one in which his hair does 'that 90's floppy thing'. You know the thing. well i found one, was pleased with self for a second and then just confused as to why i ever wanted it.
oh right, i just remembered why.
Myles has downloaded the entire series of Alex Mack (thats about 26 hours and 22 gigs) and i suggested we have '90s week' in celebration.
him- '?'
me- 'a week in which we wear 90s clothes and use 90s lingo n shit!'
him- ' do we have enough 90s clothes?'
me- *looks at my brown docs, then at his shit striped t-shirt and haircut(which i then describe in my head as 'the nick carter haircut gone horribly to seed' and later wonder if the haircut i'm thinking of is nick carters haircut or someone else? and this has to be answered and so i google it and then forget why. it is. so thats sorted then.)*
'I think we'll manage'
I am getting me a cap so that i may wear it backwards. *makes 'YES!' hand gesture*
Today i had coffee with a girl named Purli i haven't seen in probably over two years. We used to be friends in year 10 but am unsure what happened. Nevermind as was not to awkward talking to her after so long. was v nice actually.
Am so covered in bruises,I have seven that I can see right now. No, have not taken up extreme sports, am just clumsy. In such pain.
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December 2nd, 2009
03:16 pm - bungling
Will never be a TV chef unless I forfeit vegetarianism I feel. Nobody wants to know how to cook things called 'buckwheat loaf' or 'lentil terrine' or 'whatever the fuck'. Lentils just aren't sexy enough for television. Is okay though as nor am I. And this is probably a bigger pot-hole in my road to TV-chefdom than my lack of cooking ability. Although I'm probably slightly more attractive than Huey. And thats not nothing, thats something.
Today i bought my mother a 'tea caddy' shes been admiring. So some good Karma is coming my way probably.
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November 30th, 2009
12:35 pm
I have finally seen New Moon! And i ruined it for everyone in the cinema. A woman took Courtney and myself by the arms after the film and said that we were 'very naughty girls' for drunkenly commentating in the movie. We assured her we'd not do it again and ran off giggling and feeling like 12 year olds.
Am the proud owner of denim floral shorts.
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November 27th, 2009
10:44 am - bother
last night at work I broke three expensive german wine glasses within the space of 2 minutes. They're very thin and I was polishing with a bit too much relish. I cut my hand.
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November 25th, 2009
02:09 pm - your mum has a posse
Day one of new job:
Broke a coffee cup, manager saw, although she didn't seem to mind, was my first day afterall.
Day two:
Number of cups broken : 2.
Am questioning my choice of occupation, what impossibly clumsy person chooses to be a waitress? or rather, 'food and beverage attendant'?
Am also questioning my future at the Intercontinental. One line from my 'employee induction booklet' keeps running through my mind, terrorising me - "THREE MONTH PROBATIONARY PERIOD". Three months of employment is the best i can hope for, i'm thinking, they're going to sack my clumsy arse before i break more than i'm worth in glassware.
Day three:
The coffee machine starts leaking coffee while the work experience girl and I are the only people around. she is frantically chewing her bottom lip and I'm doing my panic dance in a puddle of hot coffee. I go ask the chef for assistance. he gives me a mop and tells me to calm down.
Shortly after this, the work experience girl says that shes sick and goes home. i rather think she is just sick of the job. I dont think mopping up coffee and polishing cups with a girl at the very bottom of the Intercontinental food-chain, was quite what she expected to experience. Said girl was from Scotch College.
What was she doing there anyway? Does she aspire to be a steward?
I figure she wants to live like common people, do whatever common people do.
Day four:
Or rather, night. It is my very first dinner. Its some kind of charity dinner where all the guests are fat and Italian. I am feeling like shit as am still recovering from 'poker night!' with Myles and Royce the fake-Irishman.
*cue blurry flashback*
Royce- 'I see your Fantale wrapper and I raise you a Fantale wrapper and 2 bottle caps'
Me- 'I see your relative sobriety and I raise you lager'
I have had too much coffee and I'm trying to carry too many empty glasses in order to impress upon my superiors that i am extremely capable and shit. I bend down to pick up another and every glass on my burdened tray falls over BUT not one of them breaks or falls to the floor, by some miracle. perhaps I will keep this job AND work my way up through the ranks, becoming a room-service-girl, then a manager and eventually heiress to the Intercontinental group!
All is relatively well.
Myles (the aforementioned boy I met on Halloween) and I feel we are good together in as much as we're both far too crap for anyone else. He thinks theres a lot to be said for a relationship that started with each person throwing up (him in the mcdonalds car park, me into a saucepan the other night at his house).
I am going to the doctor today to find out the results of my first ever blood test. oooh.
I'm finally going to know my blood type.
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November 12th, 2009
10:55 am - volcanic ensemble
oooh, i am deliriously happy!
having just struck op-shop gold!
i am now the proud owner of the following:
*black, cropped velvet jacket with cowboy fringing, little pockets and horrid gold buttons!
*perfect-fitting patterned 90s one-piece swimsuit
*thick floral embroidered belt- bit big but fixable as father owns a hole-punch that is made for the specific purpose of punching belt holes.
i was laughing quietly at self in velvet jacket whilst trying it on. its that excellent.
yoga was canceled today as they're having some kind of 'peace chant' that i wasn't aware of. fucking hippies. but no matter as if had gone, may not have gone to op-shop.one door closes, another opens pfft!
am aware that am yet to start my recipe-blog-thing. i'm on it. i've been too busy dying of heat stroke. also have been feeling too ill really to eat anything much- to eat more than a few mouth fulls is to feel hideously bloated and nauseous. v. concerned. have seen lovely doctor/hypnotist who has agreed to hyponotise me on monday and take my blood. he says he is very good with anxieties. Am very pleased as after switching doctors constantly throughout my life, i have finally found one i like. i've some real horrid ones, like the woman-hater who told me i'd be crippled by forty because of my flat feet.
im going to go read the jaimie oliver book and find something for dinner!
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November 11th, 2009
10:56 am
worked at the sodding chinese restaurant last night. for $10 an hour - fuck right off. need to be assertive. need to assert to them that will never help them out ever again if thats the rate of pay i'm to expect. sod.
its so hot it that place, i was seeing mirages.like, is that a shady oasis in the middle of the dining room? a pool with a deckchair and a pineapple tree? no, its another INSANE couple enjoying curry sodding beef and fried rice on a 35 degree day. no you cant have a coffee because its too hot to drink coffee you maniacs! arrgh. mad the lot of them.
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November 1st, 2009
06:17 pm - well fuck!
my love of swearing has been rekindled.
not that it ever completely died but i find i'm cussing more and more.
maybe hellish period is to blame. maybe i just fuckin' love to say fuck.
was very relieved when got hellish period though, was worried as had turned into massively bloated lunatic and if pms was not the culprit i'd have been very worried indeed. pms seems to get progressively worse, with every month. body seems to have doubled in size, all rational thought fucked off somewhere.
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October 30th, 2009
11:15 am - show me the barrel and watch me scrape it
fuck i love Gossip Girl
missed out on the cinema job. 'By a nose', thats what the manager said. That i 'interview well' and that i 'missed out by a nose'.
whos nose?
And i fuckin dont interview well. i interview terribly- this was the only time i've ever interviewed well, very well, i thought and I still missed out on the bleeding job. i saw the other resumes he had there, one girl had a big picture of her face on the front of hers and he was interviewing this fuckwit? maybe i'll put a picture of myself in a swimsuit on my resume, maybe this'll improve my chances.
after i got the rejection phonecall, i was paralyzed by disapointment, i sat on the floor weeping. i doubted any of the other applicants loved cinemas as i do and that they'd tried their absolute best at the interview or that they even had to try. Are interviews even difficult for other people? why cant i be other people?!
Mum told me that 'there'd be other cinemas' and suggested we do something to cheer me up. we went to the cinema.
I wore a coat and hat in the hope that the manager wouldn't recognise me. stupid. i should've sought him out and, um, given him the finger. Nay, the two fingers, i never do the single finger. As i believe that it's an abreviation of the two fingers and if you're going to insult someone, do it proper.
We saw Julie & Julia which i found most inspiring and which has given me a new outlook on life. I have a new goal! granted it is the same goal as Julie(Amy Adams)in the film but a goal all the same and those are good i hear!
SO. I, Caty Frackin' Pretty, am going to cook my way through an entire cookbook and write about it on blog. and then allienate my husband but then make it up with him and get a book deal and then have movie made about self. who will play me i wonder? vote now and win a thing!
I haven't decided yet which book i will cook. I thought Gordon Ramseys 'cos hes like my hero but i dont actually have any of his books and besides he cooks a lot of meat.i then decided that i'd have too avoid the recipes in chosen book which A)are for anything which nobody in my home will eat or B)are too expensive (eg:lobster).
have narrowed it down to Marageret Foulton or Jaimie oliver ( book must be by well known cook with whom, though absent, i will form an emotional connection alla Julie and Julia).
Maragret (the Margeret Foulton cookbook)- Has variety of classic dishes which aren't too tricky would help me learn to cook many things. but on downside has entire shellfish chapter which would have to skip as to costly.
Jaimie (happy days with the naked chef) - Is adorable. although has whole red meat section, would have to skip as nobody eats it (as Father is on 'low cholesterol' diet and Brother is never eating real food anymore, only chips, cookies, LA Ice cola).
Think will go with Margeret as have already made her Rhubarb crumble.was super. But vote now!
I interupt this post for a special news bulliton! Have just recieved a call fronm woman from the intercontinental hotal, offering self an interview next week. Hurrah!
this is to be my 6th interview so far. have had:
Giovannis Pizza- Interviewer could barely contain her instant dislike of me...
Her- "..oh you look a lot older than 20"
Me- *false laugh*
Her- "but thats a good thing isn't it? Oh no, Its a bad thing"
Me- "right"
Good Life Pizza- Went super well. was invited to a trial. Attended trial, Manager did not. Called him next day,He said there was a 'lack of communication on his end' asked to reshedule said he'd call, would probably have trial on friday.Isw now Friday. has not called.
Brasserie- horrible horrid people.
Cinema- horrible failure
indian restaurant down the road- seems promising
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October 22nd, 2009
04:58 pm - yoga - its okay!
i went to yoga class today. I read in a magazine that its one of the best things for improving posture. And as Lucy will frustratedly tell you, i believe virtually everything that i read in magazines. I also read that Jennifer Aniston loves yoga so much that she has her own 'yoga studio' and that had me convinced.
The teacher is impossibly flexible, shes like gumby in leggings. hey you there, at the computer, i want you to try bending over, keeping your legs completely straight whilst putting your palms flat on the floor. this isn't even possible, is it? but she did it, repeatedly and with ease. I could only get my fingertips on the floor and even that was a bit of a feat. One particular pose gives me a sharp stabbing pain in my left temple,every time i try it, this goes away as soon as i stop doing it.
at the end of the stretches (after an hour)theres a relaxation time. you know, you lie on your rubber mat in 'corpse pose' and the teacher whispers each part of the body, one at a time and tells you to focus on them, like 'let your awareness flood to your right thumb,your 2nd finger, now the third finger on your right hand'. takes a bloody long time. and at this point, having downed 1 1/2 litres of water out of anxiety beforehand, my awareness was kind of flooding to my bladder.i inched my legs closer to each other and crossed them, casual as fuck, hoping that the teacher had her eyes closed in relaxation like we all did. afterward she told me where the key to the toilet was 'for future reference'. had she noticed me crossing when i should have been corpsing? and suspected i was trying to think where the nearest toilet was rather than of becoming more aware of 'my right arm-pit, my shoulder and drifting uup to the neck'. i hope not as i intend to go there next week. generally, i totally liked it. i will be as smokin' as Jennifer Aniston in no time.
oh and GUESS WHAT? i got a job interview for the cinema. i've always wanted to work in a cinema! I need this job. like a flower needs the rain.
what on earth should i wear?
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October 20th, 2009
12:00 pm - Hot burrito #2
so i stood up straight, was radiant and charming. but the management was not. they're terribly unfriendly and its not as if they were stressed out as run off their feet. there were only two tables.
they didn't take me through the menu or give me any initial instruction. i was left to stand by myself until the manager woman barked an order at me. the first thing she said to me was 'go open this wine for the bald man at that table. and decant it.'
where are the decanters? which bald man? i didn't know.
they're going to 'let me know'. i hope its a no as i'm sure i dont even want to work there.
christ.
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October 19th, 2009
01:13 pm - HOT BURRITO
only 3 hours until my job trial at Buenos Aires Brasserie And i wonder am i good enough to work there? they do have the posh napkins afterall and i always feel self conscious 'napkining' people. you know, putting them on their laps. I've never been napkined before but i think i'd feel self conscious on the receiving end also.
Am i posh enough? Argentinian enough?
My skin looks absolutelyfoul, i have zits AND dry skin. howHOW?!
I ate three gluten-free waffles today and feel positively obese.
confidence is key. somehow i need to aquire a lifetimes worth in 3 hours. if only i could erase every memory filed under 'embarrassing failure' and replace them with false memories in which i succeed marvelously at various pursuits.
if only i could stand up straight.
will do my hair. will plaster horrid face in lovely expensive chemical-laden make-up(will switch to mineral powder as soon as i run out, i promise you skin).will have another coffee. will remember that drunk people think i resemble Keira Knightly. will repeat my inspirational mantras-
'nobody is thinking about you, they're thinking about themselves, just like you'
(stolen from olivia joules and the overactive imagination. most funny book).
'stand the fuck up straight'
and 'just do your best and dont worry'
okayokayokay.
i'm radient, posess all the confidence of the entire population of America and will outshine even the posh folded napkins.
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October 14th, 2009
10:43 pm
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
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October 12th, 2009
11:14 pm - weak of bladder and mind
This perhaps will be the title of my memoirs, which i will write on my death bed. providing i can remember a single event of my life,which seems unlikely seeing as a)am currently struggling to recal what i ate for lunch b)my family has a history of Alzheimer's and dementia and c)my life has not contained anything i'd call an event so far and i doubt if it will. nevermind, as this is a crap title anyway. my brain shat this phrase at me as i was running to the toilet not a minute ago.its perfectly true.
i was sifting through the contents of box i found at the top of my wardrobe at my parents house(which is now my house too. well not really, i believe it belongs to a woman named julie or something who lives interstate with her ex-army husband or something.its rented. what i mean to say is i live here now.)and i found a school book belonging to my 12 year old self. I read a short story in it which my teacher had awarded 19 & 1/2 out of twenty(!) and it was actually rather good.it made me laugh a little. christ, i thought, i actually used to be clever. i could write stories then, at least twice as good as any i've written in the last few years.owing mainly to the fact that all the stories i've written in the last few years aren't really stories at all. they're beginnings of them at best & at worst plotless fragments of dialogue that dont relate to anything of interest to anyone. what the shit happened?
in the words of the pixies (touring next year OHFUCKYEAH)'where is my mind?'
really, i dont remember shit and i dont think straight. heck, i dont even think bent. i barely think! maybe i should take like, omega 3 and ginsing supplements. but i rarely remember to take the supplements that i already rarely take.
i wonder if my supplements even help. i feel sick pretty well constantly. but i spose maybe if i wasn't taking Centrum i'd have died by now?
i'm thought of doing yoga, to improve my posture like. then i thought, how small a step away will i then be from changing my name to 'rainbow-moon-dolphin' and wearing cheese cloth? but then i thought, i'm already a vegetarian wanker, what do i care? maybe cheese cloth would suit me. And so i'm googling yoga classes.
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October 11th, 2009
01:57 pm
why do i find it so difficult to get people to like me. and to accept it when they do. and not need feel the need to aplogise for everything i've ever said and done. i wish i'd never had a cruel thought. i wish i could apologise for every thing i've ever said to make someone feel bad, even unintentionally.but i dont know how. i've never been well liked, so i think i must be bad somehow.mean and unlovable. i dont know if thats true. all that i want is for someone to look at me and see the person that they most want to be with.to be someones favourite person.my favourite people all have people they'd rather be with than me.i dont blame them
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September 21st, 2009
September 9th, 2009
04:06 pm
today after a function i had to tip all of the leftover drinks into the fern garden. nice wines, crown lager, orange juice. i was like "this is against everything i believe in"
girl- "huh? what do you believe in?"
me-" not wasting shit"
there are poor people in the world who cant even afford a carton of beer- people like me - and there we were tipping pint after pint onto the plants.
girl-" its okay, the client payed for them so they're not really wasted.."
me- "!"
i ducked behind the table and downed a san pellegrino and a juice.because i was raised to appreciate what i have.. and also what other people have but don't want.
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August 31st, 2009
03:12 pm - sweet talcs.
Today I:
realized that the giant neo-classical monstrosity next to the brisbane casino says 'bank of New South Wales' on it. Pah, Queensland. It's not even a real state anyway.
Ate an entire packet of strawberry Mentos. You know those are 'limited edition'? So scoff them while you still can. Why not make them a permanent member of the Mentos family? Everyones favourite fruit Mentos flavour is strawberry.EVERYONE. They're all we buy them for. we only eat the yellow and orange so as get them out of the way, on our hunt for more of the prized pink ones.
Saw man of dreams. I was in Starbucks, compiling a new to-do-list. I make these often, what of it? I enjoy making them, its the following i struggle with. Considered buying special to-do-list pad (like regular pad but with 'to-do-list' printed on) from Kikki-K. Decided against this as is one step away from buying special 'olive spoons' and other such twat that my mother enjoys. I made a note to buy my mother a to-do-list pad. Anyhow, man walked past, looked like had stepped out of the Fifties, had a perfect quiff. Briefly considered following him, you know, to find out where he worked. Then dismissed this idea and filed it under 'things to do when I'm criminally insane'. And besides, I know where he buys his sushi *mad laughter*. At that hell popular place- people line up & wait for like 15 minutes for that bloody sushi! I must try it, next time i have $3.
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August 29th, 2009
02:09 pm - I haven't got a stitch to wear
The washing machine was making a sort of rattling noise. It was making me uneasy. 'Could this be it's death rattle? after six long months, has it finally given up on life?' i thought. Then i thought 'balls, have i left my name-badge in my pocket again?'.
I stopped the machine mid-cycle and caught it in the act of ripping my t-shirt to shreds.
Our washing machine murders clothes. When you get them out they're all tangled together and indistinguishable from each other. As you separate them, you find that they have buttons missing,threads loose ans sometimes holes. You're all like 'what did you lot get up to in there?'.
Not that i'm so bothered about the state of my clothing. My interpretation of 'handwash gently' involves putting garment into bucket of boiling water and then forgetting its there. Right now i'm rocking a stained Tin Tin T-shirt and Sass and Bide skirt expertly taken in by yours truly. Hey sass and/or bide, seeing as you're an Australian company, why not put Australian sizes on your tags? Are they not chic? Am I supposed to know european/USA sizes? i do not. The skirt I'm on about had 'USA size 6' on the tag. 'oh good' i thought, 'thats a 10', so i didn't try it. Skirt now has extra seam, all the way down the back and slightly off centre. is lovely nevertheless.
put second load on. machine still rattling. christ.
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August 26th, 2009
03:46 pm - Prince Phillip is Hitler
Some teen-socialists gave me a leaflet featuring a picture of Obama with Hitler mustache and an article claiming that Prince Phillip is a "genocidal maniac".
Oh dear.
A bus drove straight past me today even though i was hailing it fervently. felt totally invisible, until a fat girl in the backseat gave me the finger and stuck her tongue out at me. I guess she thought she was being funny.
I thought she was a complete shitcake. Why be mean to a total stranger for no reason (?) esp. when they're already experiencing some shit. Thats comparable to me seeing her drop her bag and rather than picking it up, going "excuse me but you're quite fat, aren't you?". needlessly cruel.
have just borrowed the entire library. will no doubt rack up the overdue
fees again. have $16 worth so far.
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August 21st, 2009
03:49 pm - Fuckin' 'ell
Am depressed. Finally have enough money to buy blue-knitted Alannah Hill cardigan with lace collar and it is nolonger in the store.
Nor can i find anything else i wish to blow my $100 on.
Think maybe i will begin Christmas shopping.
Have already decided that for the smokers i know, i will buy huge cigars.
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August 16th, 2009
01:10 am - call now and win a thing
Am possibly too tired even to spew thoughts at livejournal. Struggle to make thoughts.
Is okay though as have earned $19 tips tonight. This is most i've got in a while. Previously had vainly thought that people tipped on account of my winning smile and that. But as face is unlikely to win anything at present, except maybe 'most horrifying face' contest, am forced to accept that tips are for kick-arse service, rather than dazzling good-looks. huh.
I have also earned pockets full of fruit-mentos. when i say earned, i mean nicked from boardrooms. mmm, forbidden fruit-mentos.
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August 14th, 2009
04:56 pm - OH GOD JESUS
I used to have a nice face. I just didn't appreciate how nice it was. All smooth and normal-coloured.
now its cracked and red and i'm praying that soon it will just crack open, like a cocoon to reveal fresh dewy new skin.
was in 'lush' today buying lovely scrubbing-soap with which to scrub dead skin off legs, revealing fresh dewy legs etc.
kept thinking that sales girls were prolly wondering what i was even doing in skin-care product shop as I clearly dont care about state of skin judging by train-wreck that is my face. 'NOT TRUE!' i wanted to shout at them, 'IT'S A RASH! I MOISTURIIIISE!'.
Have read up on allergies and am now convinced that gluten intolerence is cause of horrid face so will prolly have to refrain from stuffing it with buns from the Sunni Bakery. balls.
There should be a word for when people, upon arriving at the checkout, re-think some of the less necessary items in thier shopping baskets and proceed to toss them into the magazine rack or any other available receptacle.i do this frequently and with fervor.i also discard things as i make my way through the aisles. that tub of hummus and kit-kat chunky on the toilet paper shelf? Yo.
I am crap shopper. hear me roar and things.
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August 4th, 2009
03:07 pm - my butt in leather pants.
tuesday.I got a date with PC 34.
I just bought a Sex Kitten dress with a sizable hole in it. It was so cheap and so otherwise pretty! So i'm off to Lincraft to buy some lace with which i will cover the hole.
I just had a flashback to a time, i was i think about 6, when my family and I were walking in the botanic gardens and some teenage girls asked my dad to help them as their friend had passed out. Nig asked them what drugs she was on, they said no drugs and Nig carried the girl to the hospital. What a hero he was. I do wonder if she was okay.
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July 31st, 2009
12:09 pm
its friday and i'm chillin' at the public library. the guy next to me on PC 6 is watching Michael Jackson videos.i wish he'd put headphones on because i just know i'll be humming 'billie jean' for the rest of the day now. oh. he does have headphones in. someones going to go deaf.
i want to go out tonight.i'm tired of staying in and watching the 7pm project.it doesn't even begin to fill the void left by masterchef.huh.
i'm getting a frappe.YES!
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July 18th, 2009
03:18 pm
"it's the exact same face!" - says a drunk man waving his mobile phone in my direction
I'm working in a corporate box at the rugby, waiting for a runner to return with some drinks for these men who have been staring at me, arguing for the past few minutes. i cant take it anymore
i arrange my face into an expression which i hope is both curious and angry and i stare back at them.i want them to know that i know that theyre making fun of me and that i'm right confused and infuriated.
the one with the phone walks up to me and holds the phone up beside my face. "these guys" he slurs "reckon you look like keira knightly.this is keira knightly" he shows me his phone which has a picture of her on the screen."i'm doin' a comparison" he looks from the phone to me "you could be her stunt double!"
me- "erm.thanks. here are your beers"
"thanks keira!"
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July 13th, 2009
06:06 pm - i'm still tired
You know when you've just downed a 'Venti' tub of coffee and you're going about your shit when you realize you've had your eyebrows raised for 20 minutes straight? You're having difficulty lowering them. You worry that you look crazed.
I got that.
I'm a total coffee fiend.
Its affecting my work and social life 'n that.
Sometimes i dig at my arms. just for something to do really.
Then theres the jittery episodes.
last night at work my hands were so shaky i launched a champagne cork into the ceiling. i'd never done that before, it was kind of cool.
I wonder. Handwriting analysis- bollocks or no?
I've always had shite handwriting with unnecessary flourishes and capital letters in the wrong places. does this reflect my personality?
i just googled it and think its bollocks.
I also wonder where my camera charger is.
How do you even lose a bulky thing like that? If you're me, with ease and often.
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July 9th, 2009
12:52 pm
This boy we went to karaoke with called me on monday and asked if i wanted to go out on tuesday and i said yeah okay. but as soon as he hung up i started making a list in my head of all the things i didn't like about him.
1- little beard
2- asked me what a cardigan is (?!)
3- little beard
4- bad polo shirt
5- said 'cool' like 'cewl'. i cant stand that.
6- is patriotic
i thought he was nice though and reasonably attractive despite little beard and i asked lucy and she said he was nice. so i put all thoughts of beards and polos out of my mind. i thought to self, 'are you really so shallow? besides, a beard can be shaved off.'
tuesday came and i was feeling calm and un-prejudiced about boy and beard.
until he drove up to my house in a massive fuck-off land rover with Australian flags stuck to its roof on either side.I had to suppress the impulse to run away. I added '7- massive fuck-off land rover with flags' to the list and climbed inside with some difficulty.
boy was wearing a brimmed hat.it the car on a rainy day. this was added to the list.
we were to have lunch in some country town i'd not heard of. i'd rather have gone to the city but 'whatever, i like the country okay' thought our hero.
i put the radio on tripple j and we got to talking about our top 10 worst ways to die.after a while of driving though industrial estates we arrived at the town which was no more remarkable than woodside or something. had chips and gravy.
he asked me if i wanted to look at anything, i said i wasn't fussed and asked if he did and he said he'd seen it before and di i think we should head back? I did. and so we did.
he put his ipod on.
Please, ask me to sing an Australian country song as i now know the words to just about every one ever written. He played an Australian version of 'thank god i'm a country boy'. The only non-country song played was 'Land down under' by Men at work.
i tried to block it out, focusing once more on my list.
9- land down fucking under.
10- claims the city makes him claustaphopic
11- doesn't like masterchef
12- wont put the heater on.
13- is the reason i'm spending my day stuck in traffic.
listening to him hold a conversation on loud-speaker with his boss.his phone has an Australian flag sticker on it.
I hate patriotism. It makes people do mad things and it makes me feel embarassed.
Unless youre overseas, then be patriotic all you like. hell, For as long as i live interstate, i'm proud of coming from adelaide. I'll tell anyone who'll listen about how 'Adelaide has everything the other capital cities have, only to a smaller scale!' except starbucks' and i will not order a doner kebab, i'll have a fucking yiros, thankyou so very much. but as soon as i return there, it will once again be shameful.
At this point i'm thinking 'yes, i am that shallow. get me the hell onto the motorway and back to the city RIGHTNOW. i want sushi, starbucks and smog.'
Back in the city i tell Lucy about the flags and the music, she says she thought we were country. So did i, we're so not.
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July 6th, 2009
02:22 pm
I've got 30cents in my bank account and a dream in my heart. The world is the mollusc of my choice. I dont think i like any molluscs actually, they creep me right out. I once had a dream that a load of them had attached themselves to my legs while i was swimming, like they do to jetty posts.
Today I'm at the library. As I was yesterday.
My life consists of these things in variable order:
tea
washing
Masterchef
tea
cookies
vitamin pills
uni computer lab
sleep
talking on the phone to my mother about Masterchef
library
reading
tea
mentally preparing self for work
work
drunk
tea
i have a bruise on my thigh the size of a wagon wheel (biscuit variety). its a curious greeny-yellow and light purple.
the colours are quite pleasant if i try to ignore my poor dead capillaries.
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July 1st, 2009
04:40 pm - i'm allergic to my house
Holidays put me in a constant state of weirded out. Even if i'm only 3 hours from home.
Upon arriving at the hotel in Noosa i found that the toilet had been 'sanitised and sealed for my protection'.
Sanitised, i understand but sealed? Finding the lid of the toilet taped to the bowl doesn't make me feel protected. It makes me feel deeply weirded out.
I got back a couple days ago and so did my horrid face scales which had taken a holiday from making my face look shit during the week i was away. so i'm forced to conclude that i'm allergic to my house.
Before you suggest that it may be my make-up (as a mineral make-up sales women in the westfield did the other day, before criticizing my choice of make-up and offering me a special deal on foundation just for me and my rash), don't. The rash is just in patches but make-up goes everywhere and i like my make-up and cant afford to replace it with mineral even if i wanted to (!)
I've got hell shifts at work this week. I'm doing a wine and cheese festival tomorrow, looking foward to that as i love wine and cheese.
Someone has written 'I have no imagination' on a toilet wall at school. I pity her but wonder how that effects me, the toilet user.
 Daniel Radcliffes little beard weirds me out.
I've got a job interview at Shingle Inn for an apprentice pastry chef. My lifes ambition(as of 2 weeks ago) to own a fancy patisserie is riding on my getting this job (!)
It is therefore vital that I purge my face of scales before monday.
As the Masterchef finale draws near, these questions plague me:
What will i watch when its all over?
Does Chris have a bald patch under that hat?
Should I get a cravat?
Do you reckon food critics eat McDonalds or is it like painful to their sensitive palettes?
Do they even have sensitive palettes or are they just wankers?
Are there any vegetarian food critics?
Should I enter Masterchef next season? That, I know the answer to. Its 'hells yeah'. Even if my already deflated ego is pummeled by the judges pudgy fists, I know my audition will get on TV because I'll be wearing a funny costume. And thats what makes good reality TV, idiots with unrealistic dreams in funny costumes.
over and out.
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June 19th, 2009
12:32 pm - say cheerio to school
What do you do when a boy who's just your type is staring at you hopefully? smile at him, maybe say hi?
I dont.
i become apparently very interested in my feet and walk away.
Honestly, sometimes i think i must want to die alone.
I've only kissed one person this year. A lad i found boring and unattractive, whos name i dont remember, because he said he'd get me a job if i did and i was drunk enough to believe him and desperate enough to forfeit a small portion of my dignity for a chance to work.
If that depresses you, imagine how i feel.
I never talk to anyone i actually fancy.
If i do i'm drunk and either retardedly overconfident and repellent to all lifeforms or paralyzingly shy, crossing my arms and mistaking my annoying whining and obvious self-disgust for honesty and self-deprecating wit.
man, my personality sucks.
Anyhow, i have leffe belgisch bier. Its beer right but its 10% alcohol. You know who knows how to party?
Belgians.
I also have a proverbial shit load of washing to do before tomorrow as i'm going to Noosa with the parents who're visiting at the moment and i'll need some clothes prolly.
in conclusion,
wooo! beer! wooo beach!
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June 11th, 2009
04:22 pm
i have like, zero energy right now.
I've been drinking vegetable juice in the hope that it will make me well again but so far it just makes me want to projectile vomit.
I'm working at Suncorp fracking stadium tomorrow night. I think i'm going to have to (thats such a clumsy phrase isn't it?goingtohaveto) binge on berocca and coffee to prepare myself. Ignoring vows made to myself 2 days ago that i'd quit coffee cold turkey. frack it. I dont know what the shit made me think that was the way to go anyway. 'huh, i'm feeling exausted. maybe i should lay off the coffee for a while.' I begin to question my sanity.
I'm going to starbucks.
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June 7th, 2009
01:50 pm - gabba gabba hey
last night i worked as a cashier at a pie and chips outlet at the Gabba. In a mans shirt and a bowtie. All the other cashiers were wearing polo shirts (being from a different catering company) so i took of my bowtie,hoping to blend in a bit more but was promptly told off.
As i approched the Gabba i heard a woman say to her husband, "stop for a sec. I wanna get a photo of you in front of the Gabba. with the lights, the glamour."
I snorted silently, spraying coffee on my white man-shirt.
You're right, those aren't the actions of a person who has the right to look down her coffee-dribbling nose at anyone.
'I'm a clumsy waitress/bar maid/cashier from semi-rural Adelaide in a shirt that could fit two of me and my mothers old pants. what do i know of glamor? for all i know the gabba is the most happenin' cricket ground. Where Brisbanes socialites go for an ice cold xxxx gold and a spot of live sport of a weekend.' thought i and endeavored not to judge anyone or employ snorting or sarcasm to cruel effect for the rest of the night.
to my despair, my face dandruff and hideous work shirt failed to repel drunken football fans. one charming lad in a very fetching maroon beanie found the accent that i dont have quite cute and upon failing to impress me with his conversational prowess, opted for a more to-the-point chat up line.
"i got the hots for ya. ya goin' out tonight?" he leered before being ushered away by a friend.
oh darn. i so wanted to get his number.
A word of advice, next time you're heading to the football, bring a packed lunch. beacause you'll no doubt be outraged at the price of pies and further outraged at having to pay 20 cents(!) for your sauce. especially seeing as sauce is free at the MCG (!)
But this wont stop you from returning at the next break for a chicko roll and a coke at the the cost of $9.
This was the first football game i've ever been to. Since starting this job i've also been to my first ever rugby game(which they also call football here), my first bowls club and my first wedding. Apart from my uncle kevins wedding which i've only just remembered about just now. Or is it my cousin kevin? I dont even know. I think i was 6, they had cheesecake.
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June 3rd, 2009
02:32 pm - face dandruff
Apparently my body thought i could do with being a little less attractive and thought it prudent to cover my face in scales. and develop a large pimple right between my eyes.
its probably for the best. i cant go about looking too normal, it may go to my head.
hideous skin disoreders probably build character.
i've just been doing a bit of D.I.Y (diagnose it yourself) with the aid of Dr Google and have decided that i have mild seborrheic eczema and that my course of action should be to wash face in coal tar shampoo. and failing that, knit myself a nice balaklava.
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May 28th, 2009
04:27 pm - I had a really bad dream, it lasted 20 years
My birthday fast approaches and I'd be lying if i said i didn't have a small-scale panic attack whenever i think about my teenage years coming to an end.
I have to wonder,
will i miss them?
do i look like a twenty year old? Act like one?
prolly not.
smell like one?
maybe.
have I achieved as much as i should have?
No-oh.
But I'm fine with that as i've come to realize that i'm not an achiever by nature. i dont want big things to happen for me -big things scare me.
I think maybe i'd like to be a barmaid in the near future.I've worked the bar twice now for Bluestone.
thats the company i work for. it sounds like a fake company name doesn't it?
Anyway, its jolly good fun, i think i'd like bar-maiding in a country pub with a jukebox and a hoard of inbred regulars who i know by name and drink preference.
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May 21st, 2009
02:18 pm - guess who's employed?
no, the answer is not most people.
its me.
yeah me.
Caty Pretty, Functions Waitress.
need someone to offer folk horderves, open bottles of wine and be harassed by brides maids/drunk business men at your next function/wedding/sporting event?
you know who to call.
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April 28th, 2009
02:22 pm - yes well
I spent half of sunday getting ready for the moment when I'd finally hand in my resume at Alannah Hill. They've been looking for people and Lucy almost convinced me for a bit that I sort of look like the girls there and could therefore do the job.
'yeahYEAH!' i told myself that morning, 'looks are everything, so i'm going to look so perfect that they cant refuse me that job despite my total lack of retail experience. my dream job. its going to be mine. YEAH!'
'dont say yeah, its not very classy. dont even think yeah. think yes. think poised. ..
'think pretty. be pretty' i thought, 'stand the fuck up staight and you'd have an okay figure. sometimes people say you look a little like Keira Knightley or Helena Bonhem carter. i think its your chin. you have a good chin. its probably your best feature. remember that'
' thats a shit best feature.'
well i went on like this for a while.and by the time i got to the city i had confidence enough to get me through the doors of the store. but as i caught sight of the Alannah-Hill-girl to whom i was to pitch my application, it deflated like so many sponge cakes on which i've opened the oven door before they were anywhere near cooked. She had long black hair like the girls in the head and shoulders ads, a cuter-than-thou lace trimmed cardigan and long legs. i shrunk.
i wondered if she'd recognise my Alannah Hill cardi and give me bonus-points on its account when later assessing my resume and pathetic pleading cover letter. i guessed not.
my dress was taken in with a safety pin, my once cream stockings stained by the dye from my un-waterproofed black leather shoes.which were once nice and $200ish but you wouldnt know now, theyre scuffed and in need of a visit to the cobbler.I bet all her shoes cost in excess of $500.
I nodded too much, my smile was weak and i failed to convince even me that i could do a retail job.
maybe the restaurant manager who denied me a waitressing job a little while ago was right.
maybe i'm one of natures librarians.
I lost my wallet yesterday and found it today at the library. I'm hot and tired from the walk there and would like nothing more than a beer but cant afford one. i thought about sitting around the uni bar looking cute and dejected untill someone bought me one. but its 3pm on a tuesday and boys aren't exactly queuing up to buy me drinks even at night time on a saturday when i'm not sweaty and hanging with backpack, document wallet and sun hat.
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April 8th, 2009
12:08 pm
How I imagined my glory.
"wow" they'd say, "that bar that holds the milk in the fridge never falls off anymore. how did you do it?"
"oh it was nothing. just a bit of super glue"
"in skilled hands! well done you!"
At this point perhaps i should've been doing a little less imagining and a little more concentrating because it was at this point that i squeezed the glue a bit too hard, a bit too fast and a bit too on my hands.
I did manage to pry my fingers apart before it dried but its still there.And will probably be there tomorrow. people at uni will think i have a horrible skin disease which may mar my chances of making friends. which i dont need, as my general appearance and manner manages that okay on its own.
I've tried olive oil, nail polish remover and a scourer, all to little effect. so now i'm peeling.peeling away.at the glue or my skin? i cant tell anymore.
To think i thought i could successfully fix something. I cant even successfully walk. I've fallen over twice this week.and its wednesday.
awkwardness is a curse, i swear it.
i've got burns, scabs and bruises everywhere. even on my arse.
yet everytime one of these accidents happen, some part of me is snickering "well thats what you get".
for what? trying to use the stairs like a regular person?
yup.
thats just what we get - the awkward people.
instead of kisses we get super-glued hands (yeah.that was a reference to that song out of Austin Powers 2. lucy and meaghan were playing it the other day. um.)
theres nothing super about it.
Sometimes i like to think that i'm just getting all my bad luck out of the way and that in a few years it'll be smoooth sailin' for me.
And other people- the beautiful, graceful, employed kind-they may get hit by a wave of bad luck later in life.
And sometimes i think- what have i even got to whine about, really? i have a pool for christs sake.
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March 31st, 2009
10:14 am - inadequate idol
well sir,
Currently stewing in my inbox are three rejection-emails from mcdonalds stores. I'd delete them but I seem to feel the need to continue re-reading them in disbelief.
Turned down by three mcdonalds in one day. Where does one go from there?
To the roof of a tall building presumably.
And then down again via the express route.
But i did a bit of falling yesterday (down the stairs at uni) and din't really fancy it. grazed my shins quite badly actually.
so where do i go?
I was reading a biography of Alannah Hill and apparently she moved to Melbourne when she was 16 and somebody just offered her a waitressing job because they thought she was charming, even though she'd never waitressed before.Then a fashion store owner saw her working, found her charming and gave her a place to live.
Thats whats supposed to happen when you move to a strange city isn't it? you move away to start over and just as youre getting sad and broke, things just happen for you. You just happen upon the perfect job.
but things dont happen for people like me. natures failures.
girls with thin hair, bucked teeth and nobbly knees dont get a proper story.
theres no lovely boy waiting to pick up their books for them when they fall down the stairs.
no job in a sweet little cafe. no talent finally realised.
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March 27th, 2009
03:22 pm
apparently 18 possible matches are waiting for me on mate1.com(intimate dating). well that is good news.
In other good news- i had three job interviews last week. two for mcdonalds, one for a mexican fast-food place.
*cue sepia toned flash back to two months ago*
mum- "what if you cant get a waitressing job?"
me- "i'll get one easy.the hospitality industry is hell booming up there"
hell booming. strong words. strong words from a stupid girl.
I do want these jobs though.Well, just one of them preferably. i'm not even fazed by the possibilty that i will have to wear a visor. And a polo. And a badge that says 'hi my name is trainee'. I will endure all of this because I'm hell sick of eating beans.
Actually thats a lie. I love beans.
The manager was late at my first maccas interview. About 20 minutes late and with every minute i became increasingly paranoid.
'they're just keeping me waiting to see how i react' I thought, 'I bet the managers back there watching me right now'
'dont stare you idiot and sit up straight'
'god i'm bored.shit i dont want to look bored. i want to look paitient.calm.serene.cool and calm.coool and calm.'
'where the shit is she? shes not even coming i know it'
'maybe shes one of these people around me. oh no, this old mans going to sit next to me.i cant have that, it'll look like i brought my grandpa along. and where will she sit? if she comes. quick move to that table'
'hey maybe it was a test.'
'the old man test.i failed the old man test! i was supposed to talk to the old man as thats what a good mcdonalds employee would do.'
'no its not. youre insane.i'm going insane.'
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March 12th, 2009
02:16 pm
this morning some guy drove down the pedestrian mall, parked in front of hungry jacks,went inside to order a burger to find the police waiting for him. i didnt see it, i heard it from the newsagent.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
in other news.my job situation is getting desperate.i've applied for maccas, hungary jacks AND kfc. no replies recieved.as yet.
i think i should print up some nice flyers to put up on public notice boards you know?
'girl seeks work, boyfriend, bicycle. will pay up to $20 for bike.'
i saw on a lamppost today, a flyer with the heading 'Hi :)' -it was about that size, probably the closest you could get to typing an apologetic smile. it turned out to be some poor boys desperate plea for a girlfriend.
it made me go 'aww'.
i'd have responded if he hadnt described himself as new age and environmentally conscious. not that theres anything wrong with being environmentally conscious.that phrase just makes me cringe especially when its used in conjunction with 'new age'. which makes me think of those sparkly 'magic happens' bumper stickers.and people who consult their tarot cards when confronted with such questions as 'what should i have in my sandwich?'
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March 9th, 2009
09:59 am - university, the probably-not-final frontier.
Its the second week of uni and i seem to have accidentally enrolled in a 'wanking 101' course.
I have 2 assignments set, both of which are to be about myself.
At least I know my topic well. i have spent 19 years studying.
Its a whole new world, i'm telling you. uni, i mean. they got rooms you can only access by swiping your student card. i feel i've stepped into the future.
and its kind of dull, really. once you get past the initial idiotic astonishment phase (wow they gots more vendin' machines than I's ever seen!).
I've just completed wank numero uno, my 'Artists Profile' assignment.
( wanna read it? )
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December 14th, 2008
02:46 pm
i bought a silk scarf the other day with the intention of wearing it like cowboys do but i dont have the right clothes to go with it. mum says i dont need fringed boots to go with a scarf.but i rather think i do. cowboy boots are on top of my christmas wish list folks.
i tried and failed to make fruit leather yesterday.it was much too thin and stuck to the pan but the bits i could pry off tasted just like the kind you buy in stores.tomorrow i'll get some more fruit-it hasnt seen the last of me-i will fruit leather again.
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November 7th, 2008
11:03 am - pink eye
i feel like such arse.
this morning i had to pry apart my eyelids with my fingernail."its happening again" i said to dad,gesturing at my puss encrusted eyelashes. he told me to put salt water on it an inquired as to what time my bus to school came." i'm not going- feel like arse." i said and he was confused and infuriated.
surely at 19 i'm old enough to judge when my eye is too pink,my everything too sore too go to class.apparently not.
well i obviously didnt go.it is contagious you know, i'm only thinking of others.
i also have a varicose vain.its worrying me as it indicates that i have poor circulation.either that or i'm a)too active or b)obese or c)pregnant. i'm fairly certain that i'm none of those things. so i've started eating more chilli and aspirin (as they improve the circulating,i read it in this book i have 'the doctors guide to herbs and supplements' or some shit.) so as to prevent blood clots.these are probably my biggest fear.
my cat has obsessive compulsive disorder. you read correctly,my cat. he went to the vet the other day for his vaccinations and mother asked if its normal for him to still be sucking on the end of his tail a lot? its not but he could be taught to suck a dummy.what?WHAT?
the other alternative is anti-depressants.for a cat. i ask you- who wont we drug? i'm not bothered that my cat is mad and i'm certain he isnt either. what is he going to do? attempt suicide? he hasnt got the opposable thumbs!
i'd like to do an experiment in just how easy it is to get doctors/vets (..?!) to prescribe drugs for mental illness.
like-"well doc,my 6 month old child has been crying a lot.i think hes deeply unhappy".
"my parrot wont touch his seed!"
i saw a show about ADHD kids.in america some kids as young as three were on drugs for it.i mean at 3, all kids are mad. it made me feel ill.
while were on bodily functions(*nods to lucy*)
i got the worst period last week.i cried every day until it ended.i couldnt function at work and spilt tomato sauce all over myself on tuesday.you dont realise how vile that stuff smells untill its soaked through your every layer of clothing.i'll never eat it again. now i'm quite cheerful again.i just made soup and its lovely.
but it depresses me that i'm to spend every 4th week of my life unhappy,in pain,hopeless and bleeding.its only just occured to me! you know i used to think that the only reason women got snappy and sad whilst on their periods was that being bloated,in pain and bleeding just makes you unhappy.but i think maybe theres something else too. last week i broke a canvas in half with my hands,hit things with it and threw it out before lying on the floor with my fingers in my ears and weeping.that doesnt seem like me.i'd like to think i'm not such an angry person-but i dont really know anything,even about me.i could be an insane douche as the afore mentioned behaviour indicates.
my brain is like porridge.i feel like such arse.
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October 22nd, 2008
04:26 pm - there was some kind of dickhead convention happening at work last night.
some old dick (reading menu)- "sweet of the day,please ask your waitress."oh are you the sweet of the day are ya darlin'?come and sit on my knee?!"
some other dick-"mate you are this close!"
sleasy dick-"its okay isnt it sweetheart.she probably gets it all the time!"
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wang_computers's journal
